3.21.2011

"Healthy" Relationship Advice

I'm 100% stealing this from The Daily Dose.  I read it to the Hubby last night and we were both rolling with laughter, so I deemed it worthy!  

It's obviously pretty exaggerated, but there is still some basis of truth in each statement.  And I naturally gave my two cents with each one. 


Dating a med student? Check out these tips for a "healthy" relationship

1. Don't expect to see them. Ever.  (It helps if you're married.  Then you at least literally see them - while they're studying).

2. Accept the fact they will have many affairs. With their books. (I don't like the word affair. But I can see their point).

3. Learn to hide your “ew, gross” reactions when they tell you all the stuff you never wanted to know about your bodily functions. (This happens daily.  I try to explain to the Hubby that I'd really rather not know, but he sincerely feels the need to educate me in these matters).

4. Support them when they come home after each test, upset because they failed—and gently remind them after they get their well above passing grade how unnecessary the “I’m going to fail out of medical school and never become an MD” dramatics are. (Oh no, this NEVER happens with the Hubby.  Never ever. Ever). 

5. Each week they will have a new illness. Some will be extremely rare, others will be more mundane. Doesn’t matter. They will be certain they have it (no second opinions necessary.) Med school can, and will, turn even the sanest into a hypochondriac. Date them for long enough, and you’ll become one too. (Bahaha I can completely see this one coming into play).

6. There will be weeks you'll forget you even have a boyfriend—friends will ask how he is and you'll say, “What? Who? Oh....right. He's well...I think.” (Again - marriage makes this different.  I do have the same response, though, for when anyone asks how school is going: "Well, it's tough, and he studies a ton, but you know, it is doctor school...").

7. They'll make you hyper-aware that germs are everywhere and on everything. Even though you used to walk into your home with your shoes on, and sit on your bed in the same clothes you just wore while riding the subway, or sat on a public bench in, you'll become far too disgusted to ever do it again. Believe me, it's going to get bad...you'll watch yourself transform into the anal retentive person you swore you'd never become. And when you witness others perform these same acts that, before you began dating your med student, you spent your entire life doing too, you'll wince and wonder, “Ew! How can they do that? Don't they know how many germs and bacteria they're spreading??!” (Non-applicable to me, as I may have been mildly like this already).

8. Romantic date = Chinese take-out in front of the TV on their 10 minute study break. (True to a T, except the take-out part.  "Dates" definitely revolve around exam schedules and study breaks).  

9. A vacation together consists of a trip down the street to Walgreens for new highlighters and printer paper. (Vacation is stretching this one, but it might fall into the date category for us.  And all med students l-o-v-e their school supplies).

10. Their study habits will make you feel like a complete slacker. For them, hitting the books 8-to-10 hours a day is not uncommon, nor difficult. You'll wonder how you ever managed to pass school on your meager one hour of studying per night. (There's no way I could have ever studied like he studies.  But I mean I did have a mildly "slacker" major in undergrad, which involved napkin folding and wine tasting in class, so one hour of studying a night would have more than sufficed!).

11. They're expected to know everything. Everything! The name of the 8 billion-lettered, German sounding cell that lives in the depths of your inner ear, the technical term for the “no one's ever heard of this disease” disease that exists only on one foot of the Southern tip of the African continent. But ask them if your knee is swollen, or what you should do to tame your mucous-filled cough, or why the heck your head feels like someone's been drilling through it for oil for two weeks straight, and they won't have a clue. (We got a huge kick out of this one, because at this point in our lives, this is unbelievably true.  The Hubby's brain is STUFFED full of pre-clinical knowledge every day.  We're excited for the clinical side to start!). 

12. “My brain's filled with so much information, I can't be expected to remember THAT!" will be the standard excuse for forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, and, if you get this far, probably the birth of your first-born. (We have already experienced this with birthdays of family members and friends, dinners out that have been planned weeks in advance, and our small group meetings, among other things).

13. You'll need friends with unending patience who pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints. Or, you'll need to pay a therapist who will pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints. (This is over the top. Toughen up and deal).


I could totally add to this list, but they would all be exaggerated as these are.  Honestly, med school isn't so bad.  As long as a highly regular routine doesn't wear you down, you can entertain yourself while your spouse studies, you know that sometimes you'll have to do things by yourself (this applies across the board, from fixing broken things to going to birthday parties solo) and you can understand and accept that medical school should and has to take priority over some other things, you will be just fine.

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[Super-sweet reminder to family and friends: please refrain from mentioning the Hubby's name, school or our city. Thanks ;)]